The Battle of Being Beloved

“I wouldn’t be surprised if a part of you protests against the idea of being chosen.”
Henri Nouwen

Believing that we are beloved is not easy.

It’s difficult for me because for so long my chosenness was reliant on other people and thus, I have been hurt time and time again when humans are human.

Being chosen meant being sought after. Being chosen meant the leading role. Being chosen meant getting flowers sent to me for no reason other than “I love you”. And these are beautiful and good things, but in no way is my worthiness of being chosen dependent upon them. In no way are these things proof that I am beloved.

Because being beloved is not something we prove, it is something we simply are.

That’s a hard concept to wrap our brains around in this day and age. We watch reality TV geared towards the choosing of one woman over another, we dream of being famous because we desire to be set apart, and we isolate because we are so deeply ashamed of our inadequacies. We are saturated with the need to earn our worth and at the same time we are yelled at for believing that our worth is dependent on other people. How confusing.

The war of being chosen, of being beloved, is thrown back in our faces. The fight is no longer external but internal. Because others aren’t choosing us, we have decided that we don’t need others, and in comes the deceiving beauty of self-reliance to the rescue. We will put this weight of “being enough” on our own shoulders and we will push through until one day it breaks us.

But brothers and sisters, we were never meant to live this way.

Being beloved was never meant to be a war, but the peaceful promise of His victory.

“When I know that I have been chosen, I know that I have been seen as a special person. Someone has noticed me in my uniqueness and has expressed a desire to know me, to come closer to me, to love me. When I write to you that, as the Beloved, we are God’s chosen ones, I mean that we have been seen by God for all eternity and seen as unique, special, precious beings.”- Henri Nouwen

You have been seen by God for all eternity. For all eternity.
He isn’t doing a double take because His eyes have never left you. He is captivated.

And it is in those moments when the world makes you question your chosenness that he draws the closest to you. That is when we must quiet the noise and listen to the still soft voice that calls us beloved. It is often amidst the yelling of lies that a whisper of truth reigns.

He speaks our names gently. He knows the desires of our hearts, for He has placed them there himself. He is not surprised that part of us protests against the idea of being beloved. It’s vulnerable to believe that you are enough, that you have been chosen, without a list of reasons why. He does not need your lists. All He wants is you.